Effective communicators pay attention to three components inherent in most conversations. Think of a Venn diagram with three spheres. The first relates to the content – what the conversation is about. That’s important, but often what makes or breaks an effective conversation is played out in other spheres: the relational and the identity.
Conversations serve to maintain, improve, or perhaps damage relationships. What signals are the sender and receiver getting about the relationship between the two parties? Finally, identity: how is the conversation making people feel about themselves – their inherent value and competency?
Next time you head into an important conversation, think first about your goals for each of these three areas: what it’s about, what it says about our relationship, and what it says about me (or you). Be prepared to acknowledge your intentions, and remember that the three spheres may be perceived differently on both sides. © Beth O’Sullivan 2019
For a slightly different model and more information, see Douglas Stone’s book – Difficult Conversations.
© Beth O’Sullivan 2019