Knowing what motivated someone to take action is important, so asking “why” is useful in certain circumstances. Of course your situation and vocal tone have much to do with how a question is received, but be aware that the word “why” can elicit a very defensive response. “Why did you do that?”
Your intention might be perceived as curiosity – or criticism about something that has already been done. Instead, consider asking, “how did you come to that decision?” or “help me understand your approach,” or “what data were you using?” You may learn more by asking a question using words that are less likely to provoke a defensive response.
© Beth O’Sullivan 2019